Using Manifestation to Revolutionize Your Romantic Life, According to an Expert

“In Venezuela, we check astrology for everything,” said Dalila Salgueiro, an astromanifesting coach and founder of the Manifesting app. “If you’re going to sign a contract, if you’re going to start a relationship… whatever.” Her personal journey began when Dalila, after moving to London to work in PR, became increasingly unhappy. “I was stressed all the time, had panic attacks and felt disconnected,” she recalls. Once she discovered her passion for astrology, she discovered, “I was more in tune with myself, my body and my environment. The more I applied myself, the more I could heal myself.”

Salgueiro returned to Venezuela to study with an astrologer for three years and immerse herself in the Mayan calendar — a period she describes as “a full-blown journey of self-discovery.” In South America, astrology is more intertwined with the culture, she says, rather than being considered “a woo-woo thing that’s ineffective.” Now she is working to share her knowledge of astral manifestation through her app, which promises to help followers achieve their dreams by living intentionally. But, she warns, manifestation isn’t magical spirit — it takes work. Find her guide to getting started below.

How manifestation works

“Make your brain think it’s already happening,” Salgueiro says simply of the things you hope to attract or achieve. “You could make a mood board that reflects what your dream house looks like, and then say how much you love it, how happy you are in this house. Believe it.” The same goes for the kind of partner you’re looking for. Make a list of the qualities you’re looking for and introduce visual cues – pin the list to your wall or use symbolic pictures. Mantras can also help you channel your energy. “So, if you’re trying to become a more confident person, your mantra might be: I trust myself, I’m beautiful.”

Salgueiro adds that the times when manifesting will prove to be most effective vary depending on your zodiac sign. New moons are always a powerful time for manifestation, with the most powerful being in your season, Dalila explains. Likewise, your Venus season is a particularly auspicious time for making romantic connections. “Don’t say no to any opportunity,” she says.

How to use manifesting in your dating life

Work on yourself first

Have you ever wondered what people mean when they talk about ‘raising your frequency’ or ‘raising your vibration’? Dalila says it means that the more you love yourself, and show yourself that love by investing time in your inner and outer self-care, the more likely you are to attract others on that same loving level. Like attracts like, and positive energy will manifest positive opportunities, she explains. “When you sit down here, you attract people of the same level. Work on being the best version of yourself.”

There are no failures, only lessons

“When you’re very dependent on someone and you can’t be happy alone, things happen,” says Dalila. “You break up, or that person cheats – that’s no coincidence, these are all challenges the universe gives you to use your energy and [help you to] find your inner strength.” According to Dalila, it is important to see such incidents as an opportunity to mature, not as a spiral. “We have this movie perspective that a relationship should last forever, but every relationship comes for the exact period you need to learn and grow in your evolution. It’s not a failure. Ask yourself what you’ve learned. Use don’t have the negative energy to believe that your other relationships will be the same.”

That generally applies to your way of thinking

“Sometimes, [you tell yourself] you’re having a bad day, so everything just goes bad.” Dalila says, adding that convincing yourself that you’ll never meet a partner is equally counterproductive: “Your brain believes it.” If you convince yourself that you’re a failure in relationships, you won’t manifest a successful one, she says.

Come from a place of abundance, not of lack

Dalila uses the analogy of ordering a salad at a restaurant, only for the server to bring you a burger. You’d send it back, she says, because it’s not what you asked for. “Apply this to anything you want to manifest,” she says. If it’s not what you’re looking for, don’t be afraid to let it go. Dalila suggests compiling a list of what you are looking for in a partner, including the non-negotiable ones, to avoid wasting time on someone who is wrong for you.

Know what you really want

Instead of writing, “I want someone tall and handsome,” write down how you want that person to make you feel, or what you’ll be doing together, says Dalila. Perhaps someone who makes you feel safe, she suggests, or a traveler to explore the world with. “You have to be honest with yourself,” she explains. “The best connections are at the energy level. People become obsessed with a certain look and then wonder why they only attract players, for example.”

For a deeper dive, your birth chart can provide insights that help you differentiate between what you want and what you need. Your fourth house speaks to family, the way you love and want to be loved. Your seventh house speaks to the way you view long-term relationships, explains Salgueiro.

Find a hobby

According to Salgueiro, “When you do things you’re passionate about, positive energy finds you.” Find a hobby you’re passionate about — perhaps cooking or hiking — and pursue it by taking classes or joining groups. It’s also a great way to meet people in a more natural way, she says, and when you’re at your best, experience new and fun things.

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